I've been quite dependent, face numbing, in an apartment of a person I barely know
Feel my heart can stop at any moment
Yet I go swallow 'nother pill, thought I ain't ill
There's just things inside me I wanna kill really badly
The bitter taste in my mouth made me wanna vomit
Sweet escape from my doubts made me wanna do it again
And I hate to pretend that I'm over the same things that make me miserable and make me think about the end
'cos my nose got so long from the lies
Mind spaced out floating up the sky
Yellow teeth crooked smiles from all the vices that I do
Liver burned from all the gin juice
My passive hands bid adieu to my friends
Temporary remedy in my palm
Beer bottle clenched in my arm
Squash my hopes harder than how I crush the diazepam
Mix the tincture with the liquor 'till I spiral in my sorrow and forget
Come tomorrow, I'm still full of regret
I'm still the brother that let pride take the times that were supposed to be the best
Still be the first one to make my momma upset
I'm the perfect son my father wanted but never met
And I stood people up, and I've let people down
If life’s a joke then I got the loneliest frown
And I don't get it, much as the bandages for when my spirit bent
Healings far from half way yet, even if most my life I've spent to mend it
Ain't even started being me and I already want to end it
Lost motivation doin what life's demanding
Stuck in my own loophole
Hooked on the reality that's pseudo
And you know I can't get out of it
Though I'm getting comfy by the day
So The meds don't really do much
And I suppose I need a stronger dose
But I don't know I really don't know
I can't understand myself, what more than what the doctor wrote
But there was no prescription to begin with
The come down from the confusion is making me stupid
Now the withdrawal made me blurry after getting faded
Same goes with the bond I drew for the people I thought I did but I never really needed
But I still can't let them go
Still can't let them go
I still can't let them go
Still can't let them go
I still can't let them go
Still can't let them go
I still can't let them go
Even if they make me cold
I still can't let them go
Still can't let them go
I still can't let them go
Even if they dim my glow
I still can't let them go
Still can't let them go
I still can't let them go
Even if it's my life I'm throwin'
I still can't let them go
Still can't let them go
Even if they make me cold
I still can't let them go
Even if they dim my glow
Still can't let them go
Even if its my life I'm throwin'
I still can't let them go
And I still can't let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
I can't
